Barbara is back! CHICKENS DON’T CARE

CHICKENS DON’T CARE
This, I recall, is to do with a conversation I had with our builder, Hector, about putting an extractor fan in the bathroom. Hector always tells me I can’t have what I want solely because, I strongly suspect, I’m a woman. Every job completed in our apartment has ‘contention’ written all over it.
‘Can you please put an extractor fan here in this wall, please?’
‘No, not there’
'Why not?’
‘Because ….’
Because ….?’
‘Because people can walk past the outlet and if you make a smell it will embarrass you.’
‘No it won’t’, I say, followed by, ‘What people, there’s only me and my husband?’ and, finally, ‘English people don’t make smells.’
Figuring I’ve covered all bases, we glare at each other for several moments until he says: ‘The chickens’.
My neighbour keeps chickens. Our bathroom, separated by a footpath and dividing wall, backs onto his hen house. The outlet, naturally, will extract air straight at them.
‘They don’t care’, I say.

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CONCERNED OF VALENCIA

I’ve been persuaded to write a blog. It will be fun, I’m told. In what sense? I spent some time reading other blogs, just to get a feel for it. What I’ve read concerns me. Am I meant to be entertained by the (mostly) drivelous outpourings of people who have nothing better to do? And why do participants feel the need to make up preposterous names for themselves, like ‘Izywizclop’ or ‘Fandarangelo’? (Mostly Californians, probably). Why can’t people call themselves ‘Dick of Oswestry’ or ‘Daphne of Athens’ or even ‘a bloke from Australia?’ What are they hiding? I realize that anyone reading this will ask why I call myself ‘Babu’ – because it’s my name, silly.
Of course, this will now brand me ‘grumpy of Valencia’ whereas, in truth, I’m quite a happy little sausage, especially when I have time to sit down and take a leisurely browse through the TIV listings to see what’s going on this great city of ours. Take last Friday and being dragged off to hear La Fura dels Baus: Anell de Ilum (Ring of Light). Lots of hand-slapping and cries of ‘Geroff! I’d rather boil my head than listen to Opera, especially Wagner!’ But oh my, was I ever wrong. It was stunning, both visually and aurally (see Gooru’s blog for great pics). I can’t remember ever being so impressed by such an innovative display. Go and see it for yourself (free) next Thursday the 19th. I’d see you there but I’m off to Zaragoza for the Expo 2008 – in 34º, apparently. Can’t wait…
On Saturday night I went to see the end of term show from Escuela del Actor at L’Altre Espai. ‘Camberra’ was wild, raunchy and very funny indeed, with songs from ‘Annie´, Cabaret’, ‘The Sound of Music’ and ‘Chicago’ – don’t ask, it was confusing. But what a talented bunch, not one duff performance and it was clear the actors were enjoying themselves as much as their noisy and enthusiastic audience. Worth every cent of the 3 euro ticket. Great little theatre, too.

As Nature intended...

There is a pool on the roof of my complex. On Tuesday, innocently wandering up for a swim, I came across a naked man calmly drying himself before settling into a lounger. Forced to beat a hasty retreat before being spotted (we English, of course, never wishing to embarrass our fellow man) my mind gallops through endless scenarios, mostly involving children, I mean, suppose I had been a child and not a mature adult …. but wait, he’s not one of my mine. He’s a native. Do Spanish children suffer those excruciating spasms of fear, disgust and shock that we Brits, who have been brought up to revile nakedness, are racked with? To which even those of us who went through the horrors of the boarding school system are not exempt. Of course not. I am over-reacting. After all, it’s not as if he was old, or ugly, or misshapen, disfigured or tattooed with snakes and cockroaches. Actually, he was in his early thirties, dark, slightly curly hair, with big brown eyes, clean-shaven and kinda cute and … isn’t it amazing how much the human eye can record in only two short seconds? I wonder if he has a swim routine?
Thisisvalencia.com has a great woman's page, Anita Darling, Lolita Devine and Barbara O'Neill have regular columns on Life as a woman in Valencia. Read more of Barbara O'Neill's latest column by clicking on the headline!